They are around me. My constant companions throughout the day, my chat mates in Yahoo and Windows Live Messenger, my previous schoolmates, my childhood playmates.
I consider them my friends. I do not know if they consider me as one.
I wonder how many of them are true. Are genuine friends. Of the plenty faces that I have been friends with, one thing is I am sure of. Not all that you consider friends are real to the core. You may acknowledge that person as one, but deep inside you do not care about that person. You may say that the two of you are real buddies, but in the end, you may just end up backstabbing each other.
I found a true friend when I was little, and she was my bestfriend. But the true friend that I had when I was a child migrated to another country. Though separated by miles of distance, I knew that there was an unbreakable bond between her and me that defined our strong friendship. And since then I began to study each of my friends. Study each one of them. Funny though, almost three-fourths of them failed my test. My friendship test. It hurts a lot when you know the truth that in a sea of your "so-called friends," only a few will really care for you.
But then I can manage myself. Or so I thought. When it came to trust, I was surprised to see that almost all of them trusts me. That's important,isn't it? A friend's trust. But why is it hard for me to give to people whom I consider friends?
And I answered some of my friends' friendship test. The question and answer type. I kind of praised myself for knowing those facts about my friends but then the other side loomed, and it asked, "If you would be giving friendship tests, would they be able to answer it?" I knew the answer. No. There's no need to explain. I am able to see through my friends' personalities, but unfortunately, for me, no one is able to do that. And so I question myself, " Am I not open to others?" I asked a friend the same question and he answered, "Yes, but you hold back what is necessary to be held back." How much did I hold back? Is it too much that almost nothing is left for my friends and the people around me to know?
I once heard a friend saying, "We're friends because we have benefits from each other." Unconsciously, I agreed. No time for lies. That's one of the principles I follow. To have benefits from something. Say I was the most useless person existing on Earth, will you befriend me? An instant answer of No. For those who answered yes, it's either you're a hypocrite or you're a saint. We make friends with people because we know, subconsciously, we will get something in our favor from them. Whether be personal or financial benefits, we do acquaint ourselves with people who has/ have something to give us. In return, we also give something to them, in exchange of what they have given us. It's a give-and-take relationship, pretty much like in Biology, since if it's only the other who benefits, then he isn't a friend, a parasite.
Sadly as it sounds, that's the way the world goes around. We may not know it, but there is already an ulterior motive when you befriend somebody.
It's not the same case with my bestfriend. We became friends at the time when all we knew was how to drink milk from the bottle, how to play with our toys --in short, at the time when we were still innocent of these benefits. That's why I knew it was real, it was true. Even when we grew up, the innocence from the first day of our friendship never went away. That's why we became like sisters. We were for real bestfriends.
But today is different, since I entered high school, I met some classmates, whom I consider friends, saying the hardcore truth of life. "We're friends because we have benefits from each other." Before we get to know a person, our minds are already poisoned of thinking what we can get from him.
If I ever meet someone with the same or greater innocence as I've had from my bestfriend. I guess that person is my true friend. But if I don't, who in these vast pool of friends of mine, are true? are for real?
Help me.
I consider them my friends. I do not know if they consider me as one.
I wonder how many of them are true. Are genuine friends. Of the plenty faces that I have been friends with, one thing is I am sure of. Not all that you consider friends are real to the core. You may acknowledge that person as one, but deep inside you do not care about that person. You may say that the two of you are real buddies, but in the end, you may just end up backstabbing each other.
I found a true friend when I was little, and she was my bestfriend. But the true friend that I had when I was a child migrated to another country. Though separated by miles of distance, I knew that there was an unbreakable bond between her and me that defined our strong friendship. And since then I began to study each of my friends. Study each one of them. Funny though, almost three-fourths of them failed my test. My friendship test. It hurts a lot when you know the truth that in a sea of your "so-called friends," only a few will really care for you.
But then I can manage myself. Or so I thought. When it came to trust, I was surprised to see that almost all of them trusts me. That's important,isn't it? A friend's trust. But why is it hard for me to give to people whom I consider friends?
And I answered some of my friends' friendship test. The question and answer type. I kind of praised myself for knowing those facts about my friends but then the other side loomed, and it asked, "If you would be giving friendship tests, would they be able to answer it?" I knew the answer. No. There's no need to explain. I am able to see through my friends' personalities, but unfortunately, for me, no one is able to do that. And so I question myself, " Am I not open to others?" I asked a friend the same question and he answered, "Yes, but you hold back what is necessary to be held back." How much did I hold back? Is it too much that almost nothing is left for my friends and the people around me to know?
I once heard a friend saying, "We're friends because we have benefits from each other." Unconsciously, I agreed. No time for lies. That's one of the principles I follow. To have benefits from something. Say I was the most useless person existing on Earth, will you befriend me? An instant answer of No. For those who answered yes, it's either you're a hypocrite or you're a saint. We make friends with people because we know, subconsciously, we will get something in our favor from them. Whether be personal or financial benefits, we do acquaint ourselves with people who has/ have something to give us. In return, we also give something to them, in exchange of what they have given us. It's a give-and-take relationship, pretty much like in Biology, since if it's only the other who benefits, then he isn't a friend, a parasite.
Sadly as it sounds, that's the way the world goes around. We may not know it, but there is already an ulterior motive when you befriend somebody.
It's not the same case with my bestfriend. We became friends at the time when all we knew was how to drink milk from the bottle, how to play with our toys --in short, at the time when we were still innocent of these benefits. That's why I knew it was real, it was true. Even when we grew up, the innocence from the first day of our friendship never went away. That's why we became like sisters. We were for real bestfriends.
But today is different, since I entered high school, I met some classmates, whom I consider friends, saying the hardcore truth of life. "We're friends because we have benefits from each other." Before we get to know a person, our minds are already poisoned of thinking what we can get from him.
If I ever meet someone with the same or greater innocence as I've had from my bestfriend. I guess that person is my true friend. But if I don't, who in these vast pool of friends of mine, are true? are for real?
Help me.
January 17, 2008 at 4:01 AM
cheer up. remembr that true friends ay yung mga kasangga mo sa lahat at hindi yung nagtatago pag nangangailangan ka.
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