This is improper but I feel like I am losing my sincerity whenever our family does the customary rosary praying every October.

The imposing tone of my father whenever he calls us to pray does not seem to be encouraging. Furthermore, I am afraid, that he starts to make it sound like it is a mandatory thing to do. Now, the five-decades of Hail Marys and the recitation of the Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary does not appear to be a code of communication between us and Mama Mary, but rather an automatic exchange of response between the prayer leader and the participants.

However, it is not my father who is to be blamed. At the end of the day, I reflect on myself and acknowledge my weakness and vulnerability as a human being who is prone to giving in temptations (which happen to be irreligious), and as a Christian, who must be able to communicate with the Lord by all means with all earnestness.

But I am trying. The newer forms and modes of praying have made it more convenient for people to connect with God, showing them that there is a way to interact with Him any time even without memorizing the prayers that our ancestors/saints have written from a long time ago. Even so, I must not forget that these were the ways man relayed their messages to God and as a Christian living in the 21st century, I must learn how to effectively talk with Him through traditional and modern ways.

I apologize for my irreverent attitude.