I. Finals (tests + requirements)

• To cut the group's costs on publishing a magazine, I voluntarily took the sole task of laying out the pages (20 pages by the way). Working on a turtle pace (as of the moment I only finished 2 pages, not included therein the headers and footers needed), I wonder whether the whole thing would be published before its submission on March 23.
• Perhaps, one of the reason also why I did not employ the services of the press to lay out this was because I thought they would not comply with my specifications, or at least they would with additional sum included. O_O (Unfortunately my group made it clear they would be unwilling to spend more than 1k on the project. Laying out is around 1k, publishing is around Php800)
  
• There is no point in flipping out for the Math Finals. Seriously, I literally feel that excruciating frustration for every minute that passes by. (I think) I have done a decent job relative to others' performances (apologies for this). I know this is inconsiderate but this is the only way I know to quell that growing dismay at myself. I need every measure to boost my morale if that will help me in taking the test because, well, my emotional state fractionally influences my performance in tests (That's not to mention that my current grade is too elastic). I do not know who or what I need right now, I guess my friends have a clue on my Math struggles, and these are more complex than 'I really don't get the lesson' stuff.
• To put things on a lighter note, I took home the onion we were growing for the plant care project. I could not just bear the thought of them being thrown (although we had to let others go because they already succumbed to the heat) to the trash can just because the activity concluded. My aunt told me as she saw the plant I brought, "Alagaan mo yan, wala nang atrasan" to which I replied, "Kaykay powz." :

II. Interests

• My parents think that Judo is just a momentary interest, that I'm fan-girling over it because I am caught in the hype brought about by the awesome class I've had this semester. I will agree to them on that, although I am certain this is something I want to pursue, albeit not on the UAAP level though, that is just too big. Hello summer training.
  
• As for writing, I am still waiting for my muse. In some days, I have come to thinking that my membership in Heights is an irony and the only thing that keeps me going is my active participation in its organizational branch. I sort of considered quitting it and just move on to another publication, one that also requires inspiration but one that will never run out of subjects nevertheless. But then again, when I have these so-called "light bulb moments", I think again of the million possibilities that will happen when I learn how to develop these.

III. Shifting (This is actually the original reason why I started to make this post)

• No questions about certainty. But when I received my endorsement form, I suddenly became afraid. Is there anything called "shifting jitters"?

The department already got their copy or what I call the "Pink Form". Well if you would take the hassle to look closer on the pictures (assuming there's a reader of this post), you would see that it's already signed by my future program director. Holy cow. There really is no turning back. (Not that I have thoughts of retracting my decision, but still. GETS MO NAMAN ATA 'TO E. :|)

IV. About my future course

• I am not entrenched with extensive knowledge of the current issues, history, laws and anything that will be tackled in this program. Yes, I will learn more about them of course. But you see, having a portion of this will benefit me (at least I think in the discussion).
  
• I think that the increased exposure to our society's problems that I assume I will get here will alienate me to the point of apathy. :| Or maybe that's too much thinking for my overly stressed mind.
• And maybe what my mom thinks will be true, "Baka mamaya puro prinsipyo ka na lang, hindi mo na isipin ang magiging pamilya mo." And she slipped this dialogue softly in the midst of my jovial chatter about the progress of my shifting. :| :| :| WHAT ARE THE ODDS? O______O

HEY YOU!

Probably you are reading this because:

• You are bored.
• Or maybe you stumbled upon my blog.
• Or maybe you clicked the link without caring what it contained.
• Or maybe you're my friend and you cared about my rant. :">
  
• Or maybe you're the opposite of the one above and you're looking for some material for mudslinging. (Feeler ko naman. :))
  

Whatever your reasons are, I want to say a heartfelt "Thank you". I am trying to refrain from ranting since it has always been my plan to write commentary, editorial, poetry and fiction. Furthermore, I think my posts always speak of the same thing recently: writing, shifting, frustration etc. But I just needed a break from this stress called Finals. Haha. Now stress has a name.

To you, whether you're stressed or not, you deserve a bear hug: >:D<

Corny, I just set it to boldface, but the thought matters anyway. :))