Among other things that I am sorry for, I am sincerely apologizing for being such a bitchy daughter whenever you try to wake me up.

As you know very well, I have this certain manner of badmouthing people (at least, not cursing as you pointed out) whenever one tries to wake me up from my deep sleep (I sleep like a dead person you said). But you know very well that I did not intend to do so in those circumstances to say something offending (whatever those might be, since I dint have an idea to be honest). There were times that I would just walk in the living room and I would receive a cold shoulder treatment from you (and my sister and aunt would tell me what had actually transpired explaining those moments). But hey that's okay, 'cause you made me acknowledge (if you weren't around, how would i know?) my old fault of venting out to others my emotional spikes. I admit I am having a slow progress on fixing this personal issue, but please bear with me. It's not easy to radically change myself to an angel from the witch (when waking up) that I was for the past 17 years. In the process of attempting to do so, I slip (almost always phhhh). Like any other kid (even though I'm not a kid anymore) who throws tantrums, I am asking you to please ponder over my case with thorough consideration. I will never, in my conscious state, attempt to do anything that will hurt your feelings. You know I love you folks, it's just that there's something wrong with my system when I shift from the world of slumber to reality. Think this way: compare this to those days when you were teaching me how to walk. It's pretty much the same really, you assisted me when I fell on my knees and supported me for me to walk again.

And so before you tell me that I don't have any intention on my part to change my ways, I would like to point out one significant development: at least it's not purely badmouthing anymore. I am not trying to put myself to good light here but it'll be better if we acknowledge some improvements. Remember those days when I would just look at your faces (or my sister's and aunt's if you're too busy) and give you a blank stare? (But yeah, that was fail, 'cause I always fell on my back and ended up sleeping for the first time and just waking up after 20 minutes or so) Still, I'm not that verbally violent anymore. And then there's also one that just manifested itself just recently: (as I was told) I responded to your calls, it's just that I would end up sleeping again and wake up not remembering anything what I did or said. The reason behind this? Well blame it on the growing shame I feel everytime we always talk about one another. For one thing,I hate it when you say that I don't respect you (because that's not true good heavens!) and well, I don't like it when you share it to other people (you know when you meet old friends and you tell quirky stuff us). Due to these, I made it a point, to at least tell myself, 'Hey, wake up nice tomorrow/later' and even use an alarm clock (a plan, that never worked up to this time).

I know understanding this sick trait of mine can be tiring. But please bear with me, and sorry for putting you up with this for the past 17 years.

This is what I was supposed to say to my folks awhile ago but ended up being mum 'cause I dint want to add up to their stress. :|